You are so not ready for this

Whatever you think you've learned during elementary, high school, or college about me, I suggest you take all of it now, roll it up into one big ball and just throw it out the window. I am not the Jose Rizal that you think you know--I'm from an entirely new generation.

If you thought I was just going to stay down after being shot by a firing squad in broad daylight at Bagumbayan, well, then you thought wrong.

Prepare yourself for the onslaught of my writings criticizing your weakness, stupidity, and lack of sense of humor, among other negative traits of yours that fail to impress me.

Prepare for my coming. Prepare for a hero.

Philippines, you are about to get told.